Stabbed in My Happy Heart

A couple of weeks ago, while sorting through my non-dominant hand (NDH) drawings created over the past year, I came to this soothing realization: I’ve felt like shit plenty of times before and I am still here.

Last month I started one-on-one grief counseling sessions at the hospice center. Counseling was recommended by a friend who said that since my mother’s death on March 27th my face has looked tight; I’ve been angry.

Last month I experienced mornings of waking up and forgetting for 5 minutes that my mother died.

After writing my 3-morning pages, I sat in front of my current collage and journaled with the Watch Image, though the answer seemed obvious.

Collage Detail: I Want to be A Published Author

“It’s my time. What do I want to do with my time?”

I want to be enjoy myself, I thought. And I know enjoyment is easier when I allow myself to express all of me. 

This is different than my usual belief of "if I'm not feeling positively fabulous all of the time, then something is wrong."

It's time to set myself free from this silly, repetitive habit of thought, that actually makes me feel much worse than crying when it's time to cry; and laughing at the latest Dave Barry essay.

So, just for today, I allow myself to be stabbed in my happy heart.

Dorothy Segovia is the author of My Body, My Car: How to Coach Yourself Through Life's little Accidents. For more info on how collage and Creative Journaling can help you express, visit www.writeinside.com. To learn how 3-part collages can help you unleash the creative solution to any obstacle, visit Dorothy's Visioning(R) post.

Creative Journaling and the Ladder of Affirmations

Before I discovered the Creative Journal method, I was run ragged by my emotions. It was often difficult to distinguish what I really felt from what I should feel and near impossible to deal with conflicting feelings.

            I was also born a right-brainer and latched on to the feel-good practice of affirmations before I understood the principle behind them. I believed that simply repeating an affirmation was the way to move out of sadness. Instead of staying with the emotion of sad, I tried talking myself out of being sad by masking sad with positive slogans.

Esther and Jerry Hicks, authors of Ask and It is Given, say that this is like putting a happy face sticker over your car’s empty gas gauge. The Hicks teach that our feelings are indicators of our emotional guidance system: they are simply there to tell us where we are on the emotional ladder. The reason why we want to know this is because of the Law of Attraction. Remember? Sad begets sad, anger begets anger, joy begets joy. An extremely simplified version of the Law of Attraction states that the primary feelings that we are living in this moment will attract feelings of vibrational equality in our future moments. So yes, we want to feel the sadness as it comes up, but we don’t want to be stuck there! 

It is one thing to feel and honor our emotions, it is quite another to become a victim of our emotions. Picture a ladder where the top rung is joy, and the bottom rung is depression or hopelessness. If I’m starting at depression and want to reach joy, there are several rungs that I need to reach in between. And each time I move up the ladder, I will not only release my feeling of depression, but I’ll also be closer to joy. But each step needs to be felt, honored and released.

Before the Creative Journal process, I didn’t realize there was an emotional ladder of feeling vibrations, much less where I was on that ladder. But now that I understand that being with and accepting my feelings helps release the emotional energy, I am better equipped to enjoy life and all of its thrilling and contrary loveliness. 

Excerpt from My Body, My Car: How to Coach Yourself Through Life's little Accidents by Dorothy Segovia. www.writeinside.com.

Dorothy Lane

Have you ever been lost in your own neighborhood?
How did you feel while you were winding your way through the confused streets?
Helpless? Frustrated? Joyful?

Joyful?

Last week when I was lost in my own mind, that translated to becoming lost in a familiar neighborhood.
Frustration was my first feeling. After I chanced upon a familiar block, I became joyful because I remembered a good park and thought I'd take a walk.

(This is my bad habit: ditch my original destination in favor of a new treat when the driving gets tough.)

But there wasn't any parking, back to frustrated.

Fortunately I learned a terrific prayer from writer Anne Lamott--HELP!




Image by www.lahondaworld.com


The essential step after dialing your Higher Power is to hang up the phone so she can call you back.


As I was slowly driving, waiting for the Direction Kahuna's soft inner voice, it dawned on me that it was best to continue towards my original destination--even if I was going to be late. Next I realized that I was lost because I was not minding my own business. I was lost because I had been worrying about another person's problem.


This is called driving in someone else's lane.

Fortunately, I thought this was funny. Fortunately I heard ''turn right,'' over my own laughter, fortunately, I recognized a street that led me back on track..... Dorothy Lane.

Question: How do you know when you are driving in someone else's lane???
Please post your answer in the Comment section!!!

Dorothy Segovia knows all about being lost and found. She teaches you how to use Creative Journaling and Visioning(R) to keep you driving in your own lane:  My Body, My Car: How to Coach Yourself Through Life's little Accidents, workbook and music CD. Now available in PDF. Visit www.writeinside.com.

What Does that Dream Mean?

One of my favorite things in this world is my dream life. I subscribe to a belief that dreams are messages from ME! All of me. My me, myself and I, me. I'm talking all of the sub-personalities and selves that are part of my psyche.

Years ago, I followed a dream book by Betty Bethard. I decided that since my mind knew I was using definitions in the back of the book, then I'd dream in that language. For instance, the night before having to respond to a job offer, I dreamt I was in a store. A store meant that I was investing in me - so I said yes to a sales job that was a terrific experience.

Now I use the Creative Journal method to write to my dream characters. First, write out the dream and choose 1 character to dialogue with. Then use the instructions below:

1.Start as if you are writing a letter using your Dominant Hand.
Dear Dream Character, why are you in my dream?

2. Put the pen in your opposite hand - your Non-dominant hand and allow the answer to flow onto the page.

3. Keep up the q & a, asking with the dominant hand, answering with the non-dominant hand.

4. End the letter with a closing with your dominant hand.
Thank you, Dream Character, for talking with me.

5. Write down any insights you have that you can apply to your life.

For more information about Creative Journaling, visit my web page at www.writeinside.com.

Sweet Dreams!

Why I Love Crayons

Ever since I went through my Creative Journal Expressive Arts training in 2003 - I've been cuckoo for crayons.

I have this terrific art space in my office large white paper is just waiting to be colored.

If I'm bummed about so many bills, so little checks - I scribble!
When I'm worrying over a big decision - I color!
And if I'm pissed off at the latest slight, insult or political snafu - I scrawl giant red and black words across the page.

My Creative Journal is THE place to leave my cares on the page. There my troubles are grounded, my indignation out safely on paper where it will go up in flames in my monthly full moon fires.

Where do you put your problems to rest?