Happy Holy Days

I'm setting up my Christmas tree and thinking about Christmas past.
I have my tea, tunes and a couple of gifts to wrap. I feel pretty happy.

Being happy and solo at Christmas can be challenging: especially when I pay more attention to outside expectations than to my inside feelings. ❤

I've been doing the holidays solo for a lot of years.  I've learned that honoring the wide range of feelings that occur around this emotionally charged season is my gift to myself. 

This means...

• navigating lonely when holiday cards with family photos show up in my mailbox.
• making fun plans with friends.
• setting up the Pic n Save tree from my 1st apartment
• putting a Santa hat on the doll Mom made when I was 5. 

Christmas 2015

The holidays mean my tradition of laughing/crying/laughing over the photos of Christmas past. This photo collage is from last year's trip to Carpinteria with my brother Joe (red jacket), my solo trip to the Santa Barbara museum and a January party for my pal Brian's 50th. 

 Reminiscing is grounding. It helps me realize that everything changes. I don't know where I'm going to be next Christmas, but I do know this

 I'm going to spend my time following my joy, wherever it leads.

 

In the spirit of all that is holy and lovely, Happy Holidays from my family to yours.

  

The Pissosity of Presence

Once I woke pissed at the cat for having the audacity to walk across my pillow, announcing it is time to get up because she was hungry. I wanted to walk across God's pillow myself, announcing “Hey, I am here. Feed me.”

Of course, if I did that God would only answer back, "You have a full fridge, get up and get it yourself."

After I fed the cat, I felt guilty for being mad.



Playing monsters with brothers baby Michael and Larry Larry Lawrence.

This afternoon I was hanging on the patio with a friend, feeling tender by recent personal events. My friend is an energy worker. That means she not only feels me heading towards TILT, but she sees how I am energetically locked in on TILT. This is not unlike a heat-seeking missile. If my setting is stuck on guilt...then all I'm going to attract is guilt.

This is why I kinda love the energy of mad. Mad means I have the gumption to shift my locked-in energy by actually feeling and releasing mad, then and there, in the moment. Only then can I move on. Lately I've noticed that some people don't allow themselves to feel this energy. Instead, in an effort for peace, they stuff down anger or frustration and pretend peace. I understand the fake-it-til-you-make-it adage, but in the case of strong feelings,  this is only putting a finger in the damn! to stave off an all-consuming  flood.

My friend went on to explain that when we are children, we move through feelings quickly. One moment we are fighting with our siblings. The next moment, we are best buds. As we become socialized, we hang onto certain emotions rather than allowing them to move through us. This wreaks havoc with our bodies as well as our creativity. 

I'm not saying that it is appropriate to inappropriately act-out or dump on others. Our feelings are for US. If we are open to them, we will be naturally guided to the right expression. Right expression may be telling someone how you feel; or right expression may be simply drawing, painting or dancing out the energy.

It is our duty to be present and FEEL our FEELINGS, not judge them, or stuff them. Again, stuffing only leads to harmful behaviors. By honoring our true emotions, we gift ourselves with presence.

What energy is present in you now???

Dorothy Lane

Have you ever been lost in your own neighborhood?
How did you feel while you were winding your way through the confused streets?
Helpless? Frustrated? Joyful?

Joyful?

Last week when I was lost in my own mind, that translated to becoming lost in a familiar neighborhood.
Frustration was my first feeling. After I chanced upon a familiar block, I became joyful because I remembered a good park and thought I'd take a walk.

(This is my bad habit: ditch my original destination in favor of a new treat when the driving gets tough.)

But there wasn't any parking, back to frustrated.

Fortunately I learned a terrific prayer from writer Anne Lamott--HELP!




Image by www.lahondaworld.com


The essential step after dialing your Higher Power is to hang up the phone so she can call you back.


As I was slowly driving, waiting for the Direction Kahuna's soft inner voice, it dawned on me that it was best to continue towards my original destination--even if I was going to be late. Next I realized that I was lost because I was not minding my own business. I was lost because I had been worrying about another person's problem.


This is called driving in someone else's lane.

Fortunately, I thought this was funny. Fortunately I heard ''turn right,'' over my own laughter, fortunately, I recognized a street that led me back on track..... Dorothy Lane.

Question: How do you know when you are driving in someone else's lane???
Please post your answer in the Comment section!!!

Dorothy Segovia knows all about being lost and found. She teaches you how to use Creative Journaling and Visioning(R) to keep you driving in your own lane:  My Body, My Car: How to Coach Yourself Through Life's little Accidents, workbook and music CD. Now available in PDF. Visit www.writeinside.com.