Write Inside November 2008
I’m sitting on the hearth with my 2nd cup of Oolong tea, keeping warm on a brisk Cambria morning. The heater has gone out – so huddling up to the fire or actually exercising are my only options of keeping warm. As fire meets pine cone for that nice popping sound, it finally sounds like fall. I’ve been house sitting since September. I’m in between my old life in Santa Barbara and following my heart to a new life further up the coast in Capitola. In the meantime I am writing a workbook and recording the accompanying music CD.
While this is a sweet, creative vagabond life, living a vagabond life is not easy. For one thing, to do it in a conscious, soul way, you must make decisions from your right brain intuitive mind, as well as the left brain, rational mind. I think of it like this: my scared self wakes up and screams “Dude! What the hell are you doing recording your CD today! You don’t have enough income! You need to find a job! You need to find a place to live! Look at that interest on that car loan! I thought you were moving!”
I have succumbed to this voice during previous transitions and the result was feelings of fear, worthlessness and anxiety. This does not mean I do not take rational steps. I simply start with right brain processes then apply the left brain thinking to support the intuitive information. It means that I make a Visioning® collage based on the book Visioning: Ten Steps to Designing the Life of Your Dreams by Lucia Capacchione. When I begin, I have a vague notion of a collage about my new life. But as I work through Step 1 the theme of my collage becomes apparent. “My Santa Cruz County life is joyfully peaceful.” I make a double-sided collage on standard size paper. During the process, I play instrumental music. I am happy and feel like a child.
Collage works because I need a visual map of my dream. It works because it takes what I think I need, a job and place in Capitola, and funnels it through my right brain to come up with a statement that feels grounded: a joyfully peaceful life. Visioning® works because it incorporates our shadow energy. While there are many methods of collage, often called Treasure Mapping or Vision Boards, if they aren’t dealing with the part of the brain called The Critic, Shadow, or Monkey Mind, then chances are the dream isn’t going to manifest. The reason is because it is easy to have a dream, but often, our dreams get kicked to the side by rational, linear thinking. Because Visioning® taps into the Critic voice during Step 5 we develop the tools for standing up for our dream.
I trust this journey to Capitola. While I occasionally worry about what I don’t have – a known job with a rental agreement in my hand, I also practice living my dream by writing my goal in present tense: “I now have a two bedroom house and a fun, rewarding, financially abundant career.” Instead of running from fearful thoughts, I balance its messages. After all, if my mind is calling me “Dude,” when clearly I am an adult woman, then blindly following its instructions wouldn’t be my best choice. But the process of feeling my anxiety and using art to move that anxiety is a good choice.
In the same way that I build my fire, I build a life that I want. First, I light the desire of small twig kindling: let the fire get hot. Add small branches of Visioning® and let that burn. Make a tepee of two new musician friends in Capitola – and voila! With a blessing of an updraft of air and I’m enjoying the warmth of a well built fire.
I relish this spot on the hearth, tea in hand waiting for the logs to ignite; waiting for the sun to shine on my writing desk. This morning, my proud effort is giving birth to something creatively nurturing and warm. Yes I still need to move to Capitola. But while a two-bedroom house is my target: being joyfully peaceful is the journey.
May you live joyfully in the fire of creativity,
I am on hiatus from Visioning® events while I write my workbook and accompanying music CD, “My Body, My Car.”
To read more of my writing visit: www.writeinside.com
To purchase Visioning: Ten Steps to Designing the Life of Your Dreams, visit: www.luciac.com