How to Shift Your Perspective

 The collage made sense: an experienced writer surrounded by readers and books.

Author Collage 7.2020

But later, while glancing at the collage, my perspective shifted.That is, I’ve thought of writing as a solitary occupation. A renegade act. But what I had thought of as solitary now appeared collaborative and connected. I had learned to write in front of a television with my family around me. In later years, I’d write at the kitchen table while they were in the living room. I love journaling in crowded coffee shops. Editing in the company break room. This shift in perspective was eye-opening and I want more!  

1. To shift your perspective try this: write down your current point of view about a tiny trouble.
2. Put on your walking shoes and allow 30 minutes. Leave the earbuds at home and your phone in your pocket. Walk the neighborhood, the beach, the streets.
3. Your intention is to notice what you like with the walking prompt. "I like..."I like that yard, that plant, that purse, that mask!
4. The mind chatter will chime in at walking step #2. "A red door! I was going to have a red door. That reminds me to go to Home Depot..."
5. When you notice you are lost in thought, simply come back to “I like” on the next step.
6. When you are back home, write down a couple sentences about how you feel about your tiny trouble or about the walking prompt. 

Shift happens when we allow ourselves movement and the moment.

Stabbed in My Happy Heart

A couple of weeks ago, while sorting through my non-dominant hand (NDH) drawings created over the past year, I came to this soothing realization: I’ve felt like shit plenty of times before and I am still here.

Last month I started one-on-one grief counseling sessions at the hospice center. Counseling was recommended by a friend who said that since my mother’s death on March 27th my face has looked tight; I’ve been angry.

Last month I experienced mornings of waking up and forgetting for 5 minutes that my mother died.

After writing my 3-morning pages, I sat in front of my current collage and journaled with the Watch Image, though the answer seemed obvious.

Collage Detail: I Want to be A Published Author

“It’s my time. What do I want to do with my time?”

I want to be enjoy myself, I thought. And I know enjoyment is easier when I allow myself to express all of me. 

This is different than my usual belief of "if I'm not feeling positively fabulous all of the time, then something is wrong."

It's time to set myself free from this silly, repetitive habit of thought, that actually makes me feel much worse than crying when it's time to cry; and laughing at the latest Dave Barry essay.

So, just for today, I allow myself to be stabbed in my happy heart.

Dorothy Segovia is the author of My Body, My Car: How to Coach Yourself Through Life's little Accidents. For more info on how collage and Creative Journaling can help you express, visit www.writeinside.com. To learn how 3-part collages can help you unleash the creative solution to any obstacle, visit Dorothy's Visioning(R) post.

My Joy is Your Joy

It is 1 month and 6 days since Mom died. The funeral with the cemetery burial and gathering at the home is done. I have alternately been okay, yet not. My mind plays a continuous loop of "Mom died, Mom died, Mom died, Mom died," 24/7.

By day, I bury the grief mantra with a busy day job combined with Lyle Lovett tunes on my iPod. By night, I run errands and binge watch the 6th season of Private Practice on Hulu, and nosh on popcorn, cheese-puffs, gummy bears and Big Macs. It is my spiritual practice to limit wine at home.

I know this time will not last long; I don't pretend that this is the first time I am giving myself a break by chowing down my feelings, or tuning them out.

But feelings are different than a looped thought tape announcing "Mom died."

For several days after Mom first passed, I was overwhelmed with waves of complete joy. I decided this was Mom, and that she had returned to her happy Self before her long, slow decline.

"I want to be a published author" collage. 1.28.15

As an expressive arts teacher, I keep myself in tune by having a Vision board on standby. My theme for the year is "I am a published author" which was created in January. Four days after my mother died, this is the dominant hand/non-dominant hand conversation with the image of the Masked Woman. At the time I created the collage, I had no idea why I picked this image. (When selecting images for a themed vision board, the rule is to initially "grab what grabs you" and to allow the sorting / arranging/ gluing steps to determine what stays on the board.) 

3/31/15

DH: Dear Masked Woman, who are you?

NDH: I am a sub-personality of grief and mourning and weeping.

Masked Woman detail.

DH: How do you feel?

NDH: Honored.

DH: Why?

NDH: Because you give time and ceremony to me.  You are a healer woman.

DH: What do you want me to do?

NDH: Let me out when it is time and know that my joy is your joy and that happiness does not dishonor the grieving process at all.

DH: Thank you.

Making time for all of our feelings honors all parts of ourselves. Taking time to create art gives us room to catch our breath, catch up to our bodies and know that "all is well, everything is well, and all good manner of things, shall be well." 

Stepping into the Dream Stream

Recently, after receiving guidance to do a specific task, I had to call transformational guide Leyla Atwill, author of Ten Secrets of Living Your Dream, for a phone rescue. See, I've been applying for job interviews in Ventura, but I clearly got the download to go ahead and apply for work in Arroyo Grande. I did try to make myself feel better by stating that “well, Arroyo Grande is on the way to Ventura,” but waaaaahhhhhh!!! I want to be in Ventura already and feel that anything less is failure.

Leyla told me to think about it like this:

“The length of time it takes for me to accept and allow Ventura, is equal to the time it takes to manifest Ventura.”

Now I'm just scared.

According to her book, the top secret is for me to feel love for where I am, right now. This is the most important work that I can do. Developing a self-love practice is at the core of reaching my dream. The reason is vibrational alignment. If I feel as if not being in Ventura right this second is coming up short, then I'm coming from lack, which is a feeling place of not being enough.

However, if I see myself standing on the shore of a big river, with Ventura on one side and me on the other, my intuition to take action towards Arroyo Grande represents a stepping stone in the river. I can't jump the whole river at this point, but I can step across the water, stone by stone.

Now the question becomes, can I love myself while standing on an Arroyo Grande stepping stone on the way to Ventura? If not, why not?

These questions are presented as a guide to recognizing habits that keep me from wading into the river in the first place; habits that I have developed as a coping strategy to avoid uncomfortable feelings.

Once when a friend and I were hiking in the Angeles Crest mountains near Pasadena, we crossed a small but swiftly moving stream. We had to step quickly across four or five stones to continue the hike. As we approached, we saw a couple on our side of the stream. The man was standing next to a woman crouched on the bank staring into the water. She seemed hypnotized. He seemed impatient.

Her analysis paralysis kept her from taking the first step. I know this feeling well. In my quest to unwind the feelings behind procrastination and doubt, it is easy to get caught crouching at the edge of the water. Paralysis is different every week, sometimes every day. Television, DVDs—especially the educational ones, ice cream and even voracious attendance of 12-step meetings, can keep me from following my guidance.

That crouching woman could have easily been me. But I trusted my buddy's sure-footed step. I watched where he placed his feet and quickly followed. This is the same as trusting my guidance. Quite frankly, when I look back across all of the streams that I have crossed, my inner guide has never left me stranded.

Despite my hesitation or my enthusiastic jumping into the stream for an icy swim, as long as I was listening, I have always safely reached the opposite shore.

Right now Ventura is my dream. It symbolizes expansiveness, opportunity, and connection. These qualities do not live in Ventura, they live in me.

“The length of time it takes for me to accept and allow Ventura, is equal to the time it takes to manifest Ventura.”


Leyla Atwill is a transformational coach in Los Osos. She creates a safety net for her clients to recognize, embody and release the habits and choices that keep them from reaching their goals and dreams. She can be reached at (805) 439-0268.