The Body of Life: Using Photo Collage to Celebrate Loved Ones

It's been 22 years since my brother and father both passed away.

Steev's birthday is 10/27 and Dad died on 10/30 so I dread the last week of October.
But it doesn't have to be this way.

Even if my body feels sad, even if my heart is crying, I can celebrate their life with a Day of the Dead style altar. 

Traditionally, the Dia de los Muertos celebration is from Nov 2 to Nov 3, but you can create an altar anytime. 

I have a year-round altar that I update weekly, so I opted for this photo collage.

Because Mom, and her granddog, (Steev's dog) Kimber have also passed, I added their photos as well.


This process made me happy because it reminded me of how silly Mom was--here she is showing off her new microwave and that Steev loved to travel.

Though I'll take the collage down after 24 hours, it was a fun way to remember---and celebrate everyone in my family. I'll be celebrating the holiday season the same way by creating another photo collage of past holiday celebrations.

The Big Ask

On a daily basis, I find myself seeking solutions to the many situations that life tosses my way. From the mundane; how many pictures should I frame for my place? to the biggies; which job should I accept?

Most of the answers require research, or at least asking for a listening ear. This would be okay except that asking for help makes me hesitate--or even cringe. Maybe I'm fearful of not choosing the correct answer. Maybe I'm not ready to hear the answer. The result? I often avoid simple decisions indefinitely.

But I recently learned through the Abraham CD series presented by Esther Hicks that the vibration of a question and the vibration of an answer are entirely different. A question tends to come from lack. Answers and inspiration are gifts from the ether.

This makes sense. Slowly I'm asking in a new way. When a question arises, I simply say aloud, "Help me figure this out," or "You figure it out, damnit," then I wave my hand. This makes the ask more in line with placing an order. I don't sit around worrying about the pizza not showing up, so why worry that my order for a great new job is going to go missing.

As long as I'm willing to look at the menu and pick up the phone, I can trust that the answer is on its way.

Vacation Diver

I'm busier than ever, working full-time and hanging out with my creative trifecta: writing, music and visioning.

But hey, it's spring and time for friends and wine, and the new episode of Nashville is next week. The only way to stay calm is to DO less and DOWNLOAD more.

Downloading is the voice with the answer that lands in your belly on the way to work, when you first wake, or maybe its 2am--and you just know.

Because I practice the morning pages---first thing---I'm able to write some of the download info: "name it Anatomy of a Vision Board," and "text Leyla," and all sorts of wondrous whisperings that I have forgotten already. But they have been captured in my body to be remembered as needed.

Downloading answers saves all kinds of worry, hurry and drama. Heeding my own quiet voice leaves more time to be a vacation diver: diving into the adventurous moment and leaving planning for sleep.

Vacation Diver: Say Yes, Soul Collage.

Heart Agenda

It's the second Monday of the month and I'm up an hour early. I've already had tea and wrote my 3 morning pages. My next step is to review my weekly appointment book. I like to balance fun stuff---Soul Collage on Wednesday---with a few simple To Do's. 

Hoping I won't just be transcribing last week's To Do list. 

Next, I'll trick myself into exercising by adding two yoga appointment times to the calendar...in pencil. 

Each week it's the same process: creating a loose roadmap in the direction I want to go. And I'm always aiming for a light-hearted, expansive feeling.

I used to struggle to get things done. Note "trick myself into exercising." But I've learned that if I simply move toward a feeling that I want, rather than a goal such as getting into shape, the To Do list takes care of itself. 

Heart Agenda. Collage from 5/3/15. 

Intention

I have a beautiful white comforter on my bed. When I write or read in the morning, I put a cover over it to protect it from pen marks, tea stains. Despite all of my efforts, stains happen. The first blemish is a tiny lipstick mark on the underside. After cleaning up there was still a faint smudge and I felt frustrated. Several days later I rarely thought of the stain at all. In order to find it again, I will have to put on my glasses and seek it out: a tiny smear of pale pink against a sea of crispy white. 

Focusing on my mistakes is similar. I have to stop what I am doing and search out the blemish--just so I can feel bad all over again. In the spirit of self-preservation, I will focus on the clear expanse of cozy comforter instead.

Goleta Pier: Photo background, 1. Day appreciation, 10. 

This year, my intention is to observe and appreciate all that is right in my life.

Showing Up

In two weeks I will be on a plane to Germany. When I bought my ticket about a month after my mother died, I didn’t feel like going. But I trusted my long held desire to visit my friend Gabriele-- and away I go!

This past June Gabi said she was planning her on her own vacay. She would be visiting with me a few days, but I wasn’t sure how many. I was figuring close to a week, turns out it’s going to be four. I had also hoped to visit with my niece Charity who planned to be working in a town close to Munich. But Charity’s job ended. She returned to Colorado in July.

After Gabi’s recent confirming email that on day five of a two-week trip I’ll be on my own at her apartment in Munich, I laughed. So much for planning! Then I followed my latest impulse.

For some reason I’d been thinking of Dusseldorf for the past couple months. The city is now on my itinerary and I have several new connections who live in, or who have lived, in that lovely city on the Rhine.

So, while I do have several fun things in mind: museums, Salzberg, and a 4-hour English speaking pub-crawl tour, I’m really just intending on showing up with a super tasty travel purse.

But that’s in two weeks. Today is Saturday. Tonight I’m meeting a pal at Castoro Cellars Winery for a three-band concert. But that’s tonight.

That leaves me with today. Today I might play the guitar, sit in the sun, or go downtown. Today I might read my new book by Patricia Ryan Madson called Improv Wisdom:Don’t Prepare, Just Show Up,

or not.

Now, right now, what is inspiring your life today?

Stabbed in My Happy Heart

A couple of weeks ago, while sorting through my non-dominant hand (NDH) drawings created over the past year, I came to this soothing realization: I’ve felt like shit plenty of times before and I am still here.

Last month I started one-on-one grief counseling sessions at the hospice center. Counseling was recommended by a friend who said that since my mother’s death on March 27th my face has looked tight; I’ve been angry.

Last month I experienced mornings of waking up and forgetting for 5 minutes that my mother died.

After writing my 3-morning pages, I sat in front of my current collage and journaled with the Watch Image, though the answer seemed obvious.

Collage Detail: I Want to be A Published Author

“It’s my time. What do I want to do with my time?”

I want to be enjoy myself, I thought. And I know enjoyment is easier when I allow myself to express all of me. 

This is different than my usual belief of "if I'm not feeling positively fabulous all of the time, then something is wrong."

It's time to set myself free from this silly, repetitive habit of thought, that actually makes me feel much worse than crying when it's time to cry; and laughing at the latest Dave Barry essay.

So, just for today, I allow myself to be stabbed in my happy heart.

Dorothy Segovia is the author of My Body, My Car: How to Coach Yourself Through Life's little Accidents. For more info on how collage and Creative Journaling can help you express, visit www.writeinside.com. To learn how 3-part collages can help you unleash the creative solution to any obstacle, visit Dorothy's Visioning(R) post.