Prosperity is FUN!

I just joined a prosperity circle at Inner Light Ministries based on Maria Nemeth’s book, The Energy of Money. Any unexpected income over the 9 week class and we tithe 10 percent to Inner Light. Today I got a 50.00 tax stimulus when I went to my mailbox. So exciting! I’m happily tithing my $5 for a cool $45 in my pocket.

At Monday’s meeting, I donated a total $6.00. The day after last week’s class I received a $10 gift card. My first thought about opening the mail that day was “Dang! I wish I picked up my mail before the class stared! I could have saved a bundle.’

Hey, a buck is a buck. I didn’t used to feel this way about money. In fact, I’ve spent most of my days in a serious lack attack. That means instead of being focused on what I have and appreciating it – I’ve been bummed that I didn’t have more.

More what? Well, my current Wish List includes:

a digital camera, a scanner, a bed from Monterey Mattress Company, a covered laundry basket, music stand for my electric guitar, studio recording time, money for a marketing consultant, a tailor for a skirt and pants that I need to try on first – in case they don’t fit – which means I’ll save another bundle, my own house, furniture for the house, a gardener for the house, a new car for the carport…..

While I say YES to all of the above, on my walk home I decided to say YES to myself. That means that on my walk home I mentally spent my $45 a million different times.

Turns out this is exactly what Esther and Jerry Hicks talk about in the Money and Law of Attraction book/CD combo. Getting into the feeling space of mentally spending the money actually opens up the prosperity flow. The reason is because while we are mentally shopping in our heads we create a positive vibration that attracts more money (and love, health, joy) like a magnet.

Problems with money occur when I forget that the point is to be focused on what makes me feel good rather than spending the money. Actually, I had more fun mentally deciding which bank account to stash the $45 than spending it. Even though I was walking past Trader Joes!!!!

I am learning how to save. And the collage that is speaks to me now was created in 2005. The bottom sentence in particular stands out.

“With compulsive borrowing, treat the self-esteem deficit and the debt will take care of itself.”

One of the homework questions in The Energy of Money was “What is the first time you lost money?” I don’t remember that but I do remember my first debt. It was at a swap meet and my older brothers and sister were there selling stuff. I had some albums to sell and unfortunately went window shopping. I came back to borrow a couple bucks from my brother Joe who gleefully announced that it was still morning and that I was already in the hole.

What did I buy? A purse! A little green plastic purse and I’ve been debting (and buying purses) ever since. Take a moment to find the Dooney and Bourke handbag in the collage below.

So, while I am so looking forward to paying cash for my Vision of A Purse that I’ll find at some groovy recycled shop OR EVEN paying full price at some swank shop in New York – I’ll have FUN thinking about what I’m going to put IN THE BAG (and what I’ll be wearing, and who I’m in New York with and where we are going for dinner and my fabulous career that affords such a lifestyle and the fabulous man who….) which makes the actual bag literally just a fun feeling target.

I’m not saying that spending money is not okay but I have learned that I have often spent money as a way to feel good: when feeling good takes mental energy, not money energy.

So, the moral of this story is when you feel scared about money, then find a way to mentally feel good about money or think about something else.

May all of your mental trips leave you feeling healthy and happy.

Love Dot

PS: Speaking of shopping – there are limited “Mulukuku CD Project” compilation benefit CDs left. This is a benefit CD I produced with proceeds going to the Maria Luisa Women’s Center and Medical Clinic.
Click here www.writeinside.com/pages/mulukukcd to listen to song clips of the 17 FAB musicians who contributed.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

One of my favorite activities is drinking wine while watching exercise DVDs. It’s a very powerful and energizing way to do nothing. Actually, I’m just listening to the DVD because I can’t figure out how to have a small DVD window at the same time that I type.

Today is St. Patrick’s Day and celebrations are in order especially since its Dad’s birthday. The only problem is that Dad died in 1994. So, how do I let my body take the ‘I miss Dad’ hit and still feel good?

This is where the wine comes in.

Sundays when I lived in Pasadena, I’d drive down the 10 freeway to Dad’s place. After I played my latest songs on my guitar, Dad and I would pop a tall Bud, read the paper, watch tennis on TV and grunt answers to each others questions. Once a couple of bath-robed old ladies nearly came to blows over a Cadillac parked sideways across three of four parking spaces. Dad had to settle things down. He ignored the argument as long as he possibly could, but kept looking over his bifocals, then through the Venetian blinds all while glancing wistfully at the television.

“Awww, nuts,” he mumbled as he crushed out his smoke and donned his navy blue beaked cap. Gleefully, I kneeled on the chair and peeked as he walked into the melee. Being the assistant manager of the senior complex, he took charge and pulled out the small notebook that he kept in his shirt pocket. He took notes as each of the ladies took her turn. I tried to figure out which one was the Cadillac driver, but apparently it was neither. Both were just arguing about the best way to punish the driver.

(I actually have no idea if the last two sentences are true – but wouldn’t it be hilarious if it was?)

I miss those Dad days. And I’d like to someday learn how to not be sad on Dad’s birthday, but it’s not today. This blog, I’m leaving you with one of my favorite Dad stories that I wrote for a creative writing class. I can hear Tracy York, the SHAPE your abs instructor calling out “pony to the left.” This I’ve got to see.

Happy Birthday, Dad. Yes, I am still writing.

Love,
Dorothy

Creative Non-Fiction piece for Antioch Santa Barbara:

No Dad.

I am where we are supposed to meet, but no Dad. I try not to take it personally, but it is hot. In an effort not to cry, I get pissed instead. We are supposed to meet at the Main Gate of Santa Anita Race Track. In two hours, I’ve learned how to use the betting machine, met a cool guy, and drank one warm beer. At home I call to find out what happened. “I was there at the Main Gate,” he said. “Which Main Gate?” I holler over the phone. He doesn’t like to wear his hearing aid. “The Main Gate at the front entrance.” “Okay, let’s try it again next Saturday. How’s jury duty?” “Jewelry? What jewelry?” “Never mind, see you next week at the Main Gate.” “Don’t forget to bring your camera” he yells and hangs up.

Now it’s the next Saturday. No Dad. I am where we are supposed to meet, but no Dad. I race to the infield gates then back to the Main Gates. I’m early but I still can’t find him. Finally, in desperation, I ask an attendant where the Main Gate is. He looks at me like I’m crazy but this time I am determined to find my father. I think about how smart Dad is. I think about how much he loves kindness and music and art but that it is our secret because I am the only one who visits. When I was younger, I’d blame Mom for this because she used to call him a liar. Okay, one for sure lie that I know about was the time he said that he was going to night school and instead went to the bar for an entire semester. But still, that has nothing to do with this Main Gate.

I ask the attendant “is there a gate for people who take the city bus?” He points to a mere break in the fence, so narrow that a child, much less a grown man, could never squeeze through, even if he wanted to. There is a small chain link across the opening and I notice the rickety wire gate. As I rush forward, I become 12 years old and jam my nose through one of the wire links. There, sitting on top of a picnic table smoking, is my father. In spite of the heat, he is wearing his gray polyester blend slacks from the Blair catalog, his straw hat. His coat is folded neatly over his arm. He looks up and butts out his Lucky Strike. Smiling, he walks through the gate to me.

(PS: Dad was bummed that he didn’t get chosen for jury duty. It was a murder trial and Dad said that he told them, “They should hang ‘em, if he’s the one who did it, that’s what they should do.”)

To read my article called Bus People, visit: www.writeinside.com/writings

Dot

Visioning® Manifestation

The first Monday after moving to Santa Cruz was gorgeous. Sunny, bright, it was shorts weather. I wanted to jump up and go to the beach. I told my new housemate my plans and she replied, “That sounds good. If it were me I wouldn’t be able to relax until my stuff was put away…” I decided to follow her suggestion and went back to my stack of boxes (I unpacked my purse collection the night before) and started in. At lunch I told my other housemate that I was going to drive to Trader Joes. But she gave me walking directions that included an “opening in the brick wall.” Walking through a brick wall? I had to do it.

Often times working with a Visioning collage feels like we are aiming our desires through the brick wall of impossibility. But the Visioning® process is often about manifesting a feeling, rather than a particular object or situation. Once the collage is finished, the process of being with the images and trusting the process is the key.

For instance, I knew that once I set up my home in Santa Cruz I was going to end up in the same basic relationship I am always in: me, myself and I. So it was important that I remembered my focus phrase “My Santa Cruz County life is joyfully peaceful.” This is my ultimate heart’s desire. It’s not asking for a specific situation – other than being in Santa Cruz County – but that I live in joyful peace.

I’m learning that my daily walk of joyful peace fluctuates. That’s why I use the dominant hand, non-dominant hand technique, to invoke peace into my day regardless of what the day brings. (See my January blog for an example). I used to believe peace meant passive. But my first three days in Santa Cruz were anything but.

Day 1: After realizing that I passed the intersection where I was to turn left in the direction of the brick wall, I asked for help. I saw two women walking toward me, so I crossed the street and asked directions. Turns out they were also going to Trader Joes. And one of the women is in the midst of creating a new vision for her life with her husband. (I’m doing a Visioning® collage series for them starting this Saturday.) Through them I’ve already met an inspiring group of Visionaries.

Day 2: I walk back through the wall to get more chow from T.J.’s. On the way back home, I see a familiar face out of the corner of my eye. It’s Laura, my friend who I was in a band with years before in San Luis Obispo County. We stop and chat. She works at the Alternative School where I am hoping to teach. We exchange numbers and she tells me that I will love Capitola. I tell her that I already do.

Day 3: On the way back from a walk on the beach, a dog comes up to me, ball in mouth and I chat with the owner and his friend. I tell them I just moved and we hang out for a while talking. Turns out they are musician/songwriters and yes, they will let me know when they get together to play music. One of them even agrees to talk about a workshop for him and his wife in exchange for an original painting. (I had wanted to do a Visioning® workshop for a couple for some time as well as have an original painting created for my new place.)

This may seem like magic but it’s not. It’s enthusiasm.
Visioning® is tossing several irons in the fire. Toss when the feeling is right and something lovely will ignite. But you don’t get the situation unless you are willing to make the first toss: this includes asking for help. Dreams do ignite – especially when walking through brick walls.

May you and yours walk towards your dream,

Dorothy

To find out how you can host your own Visioning® party, visit http://www.writeinside.com/
To see a Vision collage of a dream home (and the house itself) visit http://www.visioningcoach.org/ and click on Lucia’s Story.

Visioning: A Journey, not a Goal.

Last month I left you with my vision ducks quacking over the holidays.
This month, I’m celebrating because, well, it happened! I’m moving to Santa Cruz in 2 days. So if I’m so stoked on moving into my groovy house share on the Capitola/Santa Cruz border, then why feel so even? A truer description is: slightly even, splashed with dots of excitement.

At first feel, I decided that the Critic was afoot and I was going to bop that cute little Shadow Self clean into the next county. Then I realized that I was counting on my Santa Cruz move to save me. While I rationally knew that moving to Santa Cruz meant that one GIANT goal has been reached, the saving part means that I told myself “when I move to Santa Cruz I will be happy.” But thoughts like that mean that I’m not happy now. Saving means the proverbial honeymoon.

Basically, I made the same mistake that many collaging visionaries make. I believed that a vision manifestation was the end, the prize, the brass ring. Not so. All skilled visionaries know that a vision collage is a journey.

Here’s what happened.

I planned a few days to drive up to Santa Cruz and check out some housemate situations and had the scoop on a couple of studio apartments. But, by the time I left for my trip, I was certain that I was going to rent a particular room. I could feel it. The decision felt light. And that’s exactly what happened. We agreed it was a great fit, but that we each needed to sleep on it. The next morning, while I knew to sign the lease, something was bugging me. So I grabbed a pen and scribbled out some concerns.

“I’m sharing a place, I don’t have my own bathroom, I’m 47 I should have my own place, at least my own bathroom, why do I want to share a place? Why do I want to share a bathroom? I’m 47, shouldn’t I……”

After 3 pages of the above judgment mind drivel, something was still bugging me. So I did the next step of the Visioning process: let one of the collage images “speak.” I also call this Talking to The Hand.

Talking to the Hand means that I can write to each collage image to find out what that aspect of me wants to say. The process is known as Creative Journaling and it’s a right brain technique. It gives us the chance for our heart to speak. Basically, I interview the collage image with a series of questions. I decided to interview Niversity because that was the first image that caught my attention.

I use my Dominant Hand to ask the questions (DH) and my non-dominant hand to answer (NDH). Here is part of the result. (You are being spared 2 more pages of DH drivel.)

DH: Dear Niversity: Who are you?
NDH: I am your next step.
DH: How do you feel?
NDH: Confident and happy.
DH: Why?
NDH: Because you said yes to the next step.
DH: Which is…
NDH: Moving to Santa Cruz to be in this house.
DH: I feel afraid of sharing and changing and being more open and loving and compassionate. What do you know about this?
NDH: That this, the next step, is a step, you can chose again and again.
DH: Niversity, what are you here to teach me?
NDH: That there is nothing serious going on here. This is simply the next step…….
DH: Tell me a poem
NDH: Break the boundary connections to your past story.
Nothing is the same every moment is different.
Leave everything you know and follow me – the next step.
It is okay to be afraid but don’t let it stand in your way.

(I really love how Niversity uses James Taylor’s “Secret of Life” lyrics in the last line of the poem. The actual J.T. line is “feel afraid.” The “nothing serious going on here” refers to a quote by Esther Hicks in “The Secret behind the Secret” DVD by Esther and Jerry Hicks. )

So, using the conversation as my guidance, I realize that I am one wise woman. I’m wise because I understand that once you get your vision, enter ‘wanting more.’ That’s because we are ever expanding beings. I’ve been dreaming of Capitola since June: but it’s January. That’s 7 vision filled months of having even larger dreams. So I’m STILL on my way to my 2 bedroom house, this is just a fabulous stopover. It’s also evidence that I am living my dream.

Every visionary knows to celebrate the steps along the way because a great vision is never done. Even when I do end up in my house with the wooden floors and 2 private bathrooms, I’ll still want more. Want more means expansion and growth. And that’s good. (Sometimes owning stuff for stuff’s sake leads us to want more space.)

So a vision collage really represents steps that celebrate our life journey. And, guess what? It’s supposed to feel good!

So repeat after me: “A vision is a journey. A vision is a journey.”

Joyously, I remember an earlier desire: to live in a community of vibrant, creative women. New digs in a Santa Cruz/Capitola house share with a graphic designer and a holistic massage practitioner. Yes, I’m living my dream. I’m always living my dream.

I’ve showed you mine, now you show me yours. Use the comments section and please, dream big.

May you and yours always be visionaries,

Dorothy

To find out how you can have a Visioning party in your home visit www.writeinside.com

To purchase the book “Visioning: Ten Steps to Designing the Life of Your Dreams”
by Lucia Capacchione, visit www.visioningcoach.org and www.luciac.com

Breathing Through the Holidays

Last month I left you with a Vision collage of my Santa Cruz life. Once the collage is made, the next phase is working with each of the images. This is done in a variety of ways. One way is to reflect on a collage image.

I use these methods daily as my spiritual practice: that is, I stop to quiet myself and listen to my Self. Collage images are our internal images glued down on paper. Right brain exercises refocus my energy if I’m overwhelmed by my To Do list. Taking several breaks throughout the day also reminds me that I am a human being, not a human doer. As I move through my tasks, I typically get more head focused. Right brain processes move us back into our bodies, or the present. The body is also the place that stores our emotional history. This premise is the crux of this work.

For example, I made a decision to spend the month of December at my mother’s home. Though I have been looking forward to spending time with family, as December grew closer I felt myself growing anxious. For many of us, regardless of age or worldly accomplishments, when we enter the familial home we are suddenly wearing our childhood play clothes. If we have not processed childhood incidents through healing modalities, then the role we played in childhood is instantly activated. Emotional memory is stored in our body, literally. That is, our child self can be activated simply by being around the people and environment of our childhood. As adults our job is to be AWARE of our internal hurts - which is also known as the Inner Child* - and to heal or release this pain. If the pain energy feels overwhelming, then we can ask for help.

Gratefully my collage has an image that will help me manage my energy over the holidays. The first step after completing any Visioning® Board is to look at it 3 times a day for at least 15 minutes per session. This keeps the feeling of the image in our minds eye. Visioning® is about manifesting the feeling of what you want, although specific intentions will manifest as well.



One of the collage images is a photo of two swans. This symbolizes a park near my mother’s house where I often walk. It is important to note that when I was grabbing images that reflect the topic of the collage, “My Santa Cruz life is joyfully peaceful,” the process was extremely fast. I didn’t realize until the collage was finished that I can ground myself during the holidays by specifically walking at this park. Walking is my preferred method of exercise and this also reminds me to stick to my routine. One good surprise of following this image is that I was given tickets to a Christmas play from someone at the park.

Moving our emotions through physical activity is important because it grounds emotional energy. The image also tells me that during the holidays walking is a way to channel any reactionary feelings activated by visiting family. During the often stressful holidays – this is good to remember. Feeling edgy by a brother-in-law? Instead of telling him to jump in the lake, walk around the lake instead. Want to yell at your sister for forgetting that you are a vegetarian - again? Run to the restroom and do a little jig. Look in the mirror. Hug yourself. Tell yourself how fabulous you look. Breathe.

This holiday use your breath to soothe the hurt that statements by your brother in-law activated. These hurts are activated because they need our tenderness. They need the breath of life to be brought fully into the light and released. Fortunately, the holidays are the time when we can resolve our painful past. I say fortunately because being human, we need pain to show us what feelings need to be transformed. Reactionary pain is our reminder to transform the past into our joyful present. So this holiday, use your breath to move through reactionary feelings and give yourself and your family the gift of your loving presence.

Happy Holidays and many blessings to you and yours,

Dorothy

*For a terrific book regarding Inner Child and Inner Family work read
Recovery of Your Inner Child by Lucia Capacchione: http://www.luciac.com/

The Fire of Creativity

Write Inside November 2008

I’m sitting on the hearth with my 2nd cup of Oolong tea, keeping warm on a brisk Cambria morning. The heater has gone out – so huddling up to the fire or actually exercising are my only options of keeping warm. As fire meets pine cone for that nice popping sound, it finally sounds like fall. I’ve been house sitting since September. I’m in between my old life in Santa Barbara and following my heart to a new life further up the coast in Capitola. In the meantime I am writing a workbook and recording the accompanying music CD.

While this is a sweet, creative vagabond life, living a vagabond life is not easy. For one thing, to do it in a conscious, soul way, you must make decisions from your right brain intuitive mind, as well as the left brain, rational mind. I think of it like this: my scared self wakes up and screams “Dude! What the hell are you doing recording your CD today! You don’t have enough income! You need to find a job! You need to find a place to live! Look at that interest on that car loan! I thought you were moving!”

I have succumbed to this voice during previous transitions and the result was feelings of fear, worthlessness and anxiety. This does not mean I do not take rational steps. I simply start with right brain processes then apply the left brain thinking to support the intuitive information. It means that I make a Visioning® collage based on the book Visioning: Ten Steps to Designing the Life of Your Dreams by Lucia Capacchione. When I begin, I have a vague notion of a collage about my new life. But as I work through Step 1 the theme of my collage becomes apparent. “My Santa Cruz County life is joyfully peaceful.” I make a double-sided collage on standard size paper. During the process, I play instrumental music. I am happy and feel like a child.














Collage works because I need a visual map of my dream. It works because it takes what I think I need, a job and place in Capitola, and funnels it through my right brain to come up with a statement that feels grounded: a joyfully peaceful life. Visioning® works because it incorporates our shadow energy. While there are many methods of collage, often called Treasure Mapping or Vision Boards, if they aren’t dealing with the part of the brain called The Critic, Shadow, or Monkey Mind, then chances are the dream isn’t going to manifest. The reason is because it is easy to have a dream, but often, our dreams get kicked to the side by rational, linear thinking. Because Visioning® taps into the Critic voice during Step 5 we develop the tools for standing up for our dream.

I trust this journey to Capitola. While I occasionally worry about what I don’t have – a known job with a rental agreement in my hand, I also practice living my dream by writing my goal in present tense: “I now have a two bedroom house and a fun, rewarding, financially abundant career.” Instead of running from fearful thoughts, I balance its messages. After all, if my mind is calling me “Dude,” when clearly I am an adult woman, then blindly following its instructions wouldn’t be my best choice. But the process of feeling my anxiety and using art to move that anxiety is a good choice.

In the same way that I build my fire, I build a life that I want. First, I light the desire of small twig kindling: let the fire get hot. Add small branches of Visioning® and let that burn. Make a tepee of two new musician friends in Capitola – and voila! With a blessing of an updraft of air and I’m enjoying the warmth of a well built fire.

I relish this spot on the hearth, tea in hand waiting for the logs to ignite; waiting for the sun to shine on my writing desk. This morning, my proud effort is giving birth to something creatively nurturing and warm. Yes I still need to move to Capitola. But while a two-bedroom house is my target: being joyfully peaceful is the journey.

May you live joyfully in the fire of creativity,

Dorothy

I am on hiatus from Visioning® events while I write my workbook and accompanying music CD, “My Body, My Car.”

To read more of my writing visit: www.writeinside.com

To purchase Visioning: Ten Steps to Designing the Life of Your Dreams, visit: www.luciac.com