Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Next Wandering Step

Now that I've achieved my dream: living in a safe and sacred home in Ventura, I've been reluctant to create another collage. I don't want to trick myself. Being in the safe and sacred home in Ventura happened when I showed up at a particular house, with a particular warm and loving family. And here I was hoping that my collage meant that I was going to be living and working in Ventura. Well, I did. But what I meant when I created the collage was that I be working and living in Ventura longer than four days.

Instead I am wandering between Ventura, Santa Barbara and San Luis Obispo counties. This afternoon I let myself follow a clearly marked trail through the orange groves in Cayucos, trying to find the fence line. Yesterday morning I was standing on the deck of a home on the back bay in Los Osos with a cup of tea, and last week I was in Carpinteria buying asparagus at Farmer's Market.

In my search for the "right job" and the "right place" it is easy to lose sight of what my heart knows. My heart knows that right now is a pretty good place to be if I like being buzzed by hummingbirds and don't mind the cute-faced dog Sammy-Sam-Sam sticking his black and white snout on my lap, hoping for another Premium Saltine.

I didn't know I needed to walk through groves of oranges and lemons, or listen to the birds chirping above traffic. But my heart knew. My heart knew that I needed to rest in the sun on a ranch without cell service and barely an Internet connection. My work today is looking up how to tell the difference between flying bald eagles or hawks when they are circling the valley. I'll also need to look up the meaning of lizards and deer on an animal-medicine card website.My heart has led me to a place where a lovely woman named Grace walks every night down the long road to follow the constellations. My heart has always known me better than my head does and for that I am grateful.

What does your heart know in this moment???
Please be bold, comment!

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