The best thing to know about the Critic is that once I can separate from 'the voice' - then I can transform the negative traits into positive. With practice, this becomes easier and more fun.
Of course, I couldn't' do it with Hal and Sidra Stone's book, Embracing Your Inner Critic. Here are some promises from the book below:
Top Ten Traits of Your Inner Critic as Supporter.
1. It acts like a positive parent who supports you, makes your risk taking safe, and allows you to be creative and flowing.
2. It is impersonal and does not allow you to worry about what others think.
3. It helps you to set appropriate boundaries.
4. It is no longer interested in other people's criticism, so they do not bother you. This helps to free you from the fear of shame or humiliation.
5. Its power gives you greater authority in the world.
6. It brings you the ability to focus clearly.
7. As an objective mind, it analyzes events and feelings coolly, without making either you or others wrong.
8. Its objective evaluations of situations help you to behave appropriately and with self-discipline.
9. It helps you to get appropriate consultation and advice without making you feel that this is a sign of inadequacy.
10. It can direct you to self-improvement as growth or as an adventure rather than as a chore because nothing is "wrong" with you. It does not talk about symptoms for problems.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
12 Traits of the Inner Critic
My promise to myself for 2011 is to feel good and have more fun. This means becoming more aware of the constant chatter of my mind - and especially its criticism.
Hal & Sidra Stone, authors of Embracing Your Inner Critic have a handy checklist for helping you to identify when the Critic has take over your brain. Knowing when the Critic is afoot can help you turn down the volume on this inner voice - and get back to enjoying your life.
(I keep these posted on my file cabinet in the event of a lack attack.)
The Top Twelve Traits of the Inner Critic
1. It constricts your ability to be creative.
2. It stops you from taking risks because it makes you fear failure.
3. It views your life as a series of mistakes waiting to happen.
4. It undermines your courage to change.
5. It compares you unfavorably with others and makes you feel "less than."
6. It is terrified of being shamed and so monitors all of your behavior to avoid this.
7. It causes you to suffer from low self-esteem, and possibly depression, because it tells you that you are not good enough.
8. It can make looking at yourself in a mirror or shopping for clothes miserable because of its ability to create such a negative view of the body.
9. It can take all the fun out of life with its criticisms.
10. It makes self-improvement a compulsive chore because it bases the work on the premise that something is wrong with you.
11. It doesn't allow you to take in the good feelings that other people have toward you.
12. It makes you susceptible, and often victim, to the judgments of other people.
Hal & Sidra Stone, authors of Embracing Your Inner Critic have a handy checklist for helping you to identify when the Critic has take over your brain. Knowing when the Critic is afoot can help you turn down the volume on this inner voice - and get back to enjoying your life.
(I keep these posted on my file cabinet in the event of a lack attack.)
The Top Twelve Traits of the Inner Critic
1. It constricts your ability to be creative.
2. It stops you from taking risks because it makes you fear failure.
3. It views your life as a series of mistakes waiting to happen.
4. It undermines your courage to change.
5. It compares you unfavorably with others and makes you feel "less than."
6. It is terrified of being shamed and so monitors all of your behavior to avoid this.
7. It causes you to suffer from low self-esteem, and possibly depression, because it tells you that you are not good enough.
8. It can make looking at yourself in a mirror or shopping for clothes miserable because of its ability to create such a negative view of the body.
9. It can take all the fun out of life with its criticisms.
10. It makes self-improvement a compulsive chore because it bases the work on the premise that something is wrong with you.
11. It doesn't allow you to take in the good feelings that other people have toward you.
12. It makes you susceptible, and often victim, to the judgments of other people.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
The Dollar Bone
My mother used to dance in the kitchen singing a song called Dry Bones. “The leg bone connects to the thigh bone, the thigh bone connects to the hip bone, the hip bone connects to the leg bone and that’s the way it goes!”
Connection means relationship whether we are connected at the hip or connected to where we buy our daily bread.
This shopping season, let's connect with our community by supporting smaller, family/individual owned shops. One of the biggest reasons people don’t visit local stores is the myth of big prices, small choice. For me, the main reason why I duck into a Big Box shop is that I claim I don’t have the time to visit a bunch of smaller retails rather than one big variety store.
On a recent foray for a watch battery, I put my time where my mouth is and stopped at Cayucos Pharmacy. In addition to my watch battery, I found a ½ price calendar, a bargain on the shampoo I use and a purple calculator for my purse. I carry it as a reminder that the benefits of buying local can’t always be tallied up in numbers. The afterglow of knowing that I gave my buying bucks to a neighborhood business was worth my effort.
The issue of how to maintain small town heart with big time progress is an important to all of us. As individuals we do have the power of choice. And choosing to be connected to what we purchase with our hard earned dollars is an empowering choice that we can’t afford to lose.
Connection means relationship whether we are connected at the hip or connected to where we buy our daily bread.
This shopping season, let's connect with our community by supporting smaller, family/individual owned shops. One of the biggest reasons people don’t visit local stores is the myth of big prices, small choice. For me, the main reason why I duck into a Big Box shop is that I claim I don’t have the time to visit a bunch of smaller retails rather than one big variety store.
On a recent foray for a watch battery, I put my time where my mouth is and stopped at Cayucos Pharmacy. In addition to my watch battery, I found a ½ price calendar, a bargain on the shampoo I use and a purple calculator for my purse. I carry it as a reminder that the benefits of buying local can’t always be tallied up in numbers. The afterglow of knowing that I gave my buying bucks to a neighborhood business was worth my effort.
The issue of how to maintain small town heart with big time progress is an important to all of us. As individuals we do have the power of choice. And choosing to be connected to what we purchase with our hard earned dollars is an empowering choice that we can’t afford to lose.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Two Dorothy's
In 2001 I went out to do a load of laundry but it was a full house. I ended up visiting my friend Alex instead – he lived in the apartment above the laundry mat. During the visit, he got a call from Lisa reminding him that they were going to see a lecture about a medical clinic in Nicaragua with a speaker named Dorothy Granada, a US nurse from Santa Cruz and the director of the clinic.
8 years later and Dorothy Granada has retired from the clinic, and I'm hacking out the spreadsheets that calculate this labor of love called The Mulukuku CD Project. Sales, numbers, consignments, and expenses. My ego wants BIG numbers to prove my success.
My heart wants me to finish because it's time.
Procrastinating on Mulu has driven me Kuku.
The blessing is the story that I carry in my heart, the songwriters who donated tracks, the countless friends, collegues and strangers who supported the CD - and who still support the clinic.
I still have a few CD's left for sale through my website, www.writeinside.com. (There's even a younger me yapping about it in a Utube clip.)
When the CD's are sold, Steve Aiena of NewMediaDimensions.com will upload the Mulukuku Download Project.
Hooray for technology.
8 years later and Dorothy Granada has retired from the clinic, and I'm hacking out the spreadsheets that calculate this labor of love called The Mulukuku CD Project. Sales, numbers, consignments, and expenses. My ego wants BIG numbers to prove my success.
My heart wants me to finish because it's time.
Procrastinating on Mulu has driven me Kuku.
The blessing is the story that I carry in my heart, the songwriters who donated tracks, the countless friends, collegues and strangers who supported the CD - and who still support the clinic.
I still have a few CD's left for sale through my website, www.writeinside.com. (There's even a younger me yapping about it in a Utube clip.)
When the CD's are sold, Steve Aiena of NewMediaDimensions.com will upload the Mulukuku Download Project.
Hooray for technology.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Laundry
When I first learned my rental lacked a washer & dryer, I almost decided against it. I had vowed to be able to do laundry in my own place, but realized that living alone was a step up from the house share in Capitola. Plus I called Mom and asked for advice.
I live two blocks from the laundry mat. I live so close that I leave my car parked and walk home and have lunch while the clothes are washing. Sometimes I walk to do errands, go shopping at the Abundance Thrift shop or read magazines in the car. Yet, I snivel as if I have to lug my laundry two miles through the snow.
Basically, I spend more time complaining about the laundry than doing the laundry. Turns out I can have a washer and dryer on the property – but right now it’d cost more than it would be worth.
The reality is that some very good things have happened as a result of hanging out in laundry mats. Wash on a Friday night in 2000 led to producing the Mulukuku CD Project. Once I wrote an article about Nancy, owner of the former Washing Well in Morro Bay. (Politics and dirty laundry: keep an eye on the spin cycle. How's that for metaphor?) I recently spent time talking with Tiffany, a young woman I wrote a song about when I moved back to this area in ’93. She lives in my town AND we have the same laundry schedule.
All this and clean chonies too!
May all of your experiences be washed and thoroughly dried,
Dorothy
I live two blocks from the laundry mat. I live so close that I leave my car parked and walk home and have lunch while the clothes are washing. Sometimes I walk to do errands, go shopping at the Abundance Thrift shop or read magazines in the car. Yet, I snivel as if I have to lug my laundry two miles through the snow.
Basically, I spend more time complaining about the laundry than doing the laundry. Turns out I can have a washer and dryer on the property – but right now it’d cost more than it would be worth.
The reality is that some very good things have happened as a result of hanging out in laundry mats. Wash on a Friday night in 2000 led to producing the Mulukuku CD Project. Once I wrote an article about Nancy, owner of the former Washing Well in Morro Bay. (Politics and dirty laundry: keep an eye on the spin cycle. How's that for metaphor?) I recently spent time talking with Tiffany, a young woman I wrote a song about when I moved back to this area in ’93. She lives in my town AND we have the same laundry schedule.
All this and clean chonies too!
May all of your experiences be washed and thoroughly dried,
Dorothy
Monday, August 2, 2010
Thanks, Hank!
Just before Sherrie and I headed back to the bus where the drinks were hopefully still on ice, I whispered, “Just think for the rest of our lives all we have to do to be happy is realize that we could be at the Hank Williams. Jr. concert instead.”
Sort of like the motivational speaker Anthony Robbins shouting to himself, “Thank God my feet don’t stink today!” Anything to stop the negative thought.
The point is to pivot away from what you don’t want and head for what you want. And humor releases energy even in grim circumstances. That’s not to say don’t feel what you are feeling or try to slap a happy saying on a sad experience.
Everyday I have the same goal: to feel good. Humor helps me let go of whatever thought that is creating the internal drama-rama that my Monkey Mind is so fond of creating.
Today’s my day off. First I woke up at
What will you do to feel good today? I really want to know – so please Comment.
May you pivot towards what you love today,
Dot
PS: For more information on pivoting, check out www.Abraham-Hicks.com.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Achy, breaky, but?
Whoops.
I meant achy, breaky butt.
I had a 4am wake up noticing that my left butt muscle was tight and achy. But it could have been the dream I was having about rich people.
Basically the startling wake up had me wondering, what is this metaphor trying to tell me?
And is everything a metaphor?
Since I didn't write down the dream I'll let you figure it out.
POST YOUR COMMENT OR EMAIL ME & I'LL POST IT FOR YA!
(you can use writeinside@kcbx.net or any other email you have for me)
Blessings to you and your glutamus maximus,
Dot
I meant achy, breaky butt.
I had a 4am wake up noticing that my left butt muscle was tight and achy. But it could have been the dream I was having about rich people.
Basically the startling wake up had me wondering, what is this metaphor trying to tell me?
And is everything a metaphor?
Since I didn't write down the dream I'll let you figure it out.
POST YOUR COMMENT OR EMAIL ME & I'LL POST IT FOR YA!
(you can use writeinside@kcbx.net or any other email you have for me)
Blessings to you and your glutamus maximus,
Dot
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