The Berry Hunter

The thing about blackberries and boysenberries is that you have to pick them all gone before you can get more. This is true prosperity. It is in alignment with what my friend Cam just told me earlier this week: that we live in a just in time Universe. As usual, I grumbled and moaned about my upcoming berry picking. I didn't want to be poked by the thorns, and it just didn't seem as if there were that many ripe berries to pick.

Gail has left me a pale blue jumpsuit to wear over my clothes. “Gail Brooks......Berry Hunter” is embroidered in tiny script along the collar. There are disposable plastic gloves to wear, and I always keep a pair of rubber work galoshes in my car. My spirits lift somewhat when I realize the boots match my outfit.

 I select two cartons from the pile on the chair: one for each type of berry. I begin with the boysenberries along the fence. I taste several checking for ripeness. There are so many different shades that I am easily confused as to which ones are ripe. I mentally hope that Mike, Gail's partner, shows up so I can ask him. Surprisingly enough, my prayer is answered within the next half hour when Mike and his father appear walking along the path that edges the bay. Mike picks a couple berry's and pops them in his mouth. “See, these are done. Whatever ones come off the tree easily.” Reassured, I go back to picking the sweet, red fruit. When I fill up half a milk cartons worth, I start on the blackberries. It doesn't take long before my mood has shifted from grumbling to gratitude.

Although it is overcast, it is warm. There are less berries now because I picked a full carton a few days ago. This gives me a chance to notice my surroundings, and listen to the bees, the breeze and the wind chimes. The chimes send me back to my beginnings here on the bay. It was in 1993 and I was renting a place behind a friend's house in Morro Bay. It was a basement apartment. There were wind chimes there too.

Carolyn Myss said that we have to let go of the life we thought we'd have to embrace the life we are living. When I think about it, I've always wanted to live in a house where I can spread out with enough time to focus on writing, songwriting and creating. I wanted the freedom to flow with my own energy. I'm done picking berries and ready to head back into the house. I wind my way back through the bushes and notice a number of ripe berries that I didn't see before.

The Pissosity of Presence

Once I woke pissed at the cat for having the audacity to walk across my pillow, announcing it is time to get up because she was hungry. I wanted to walk across God's pillow myself, announcing “Hey, I am here. Feed me.”

Of course, if I did that God would only answer back, "You have a full fridge, get up and get it yourself."

After I fed the cat, I felt guilty for being mad.



Playing monsters with brothers baby Michael and Larry Larry Lawrence.

This afternoon I was hanging on the patio with a friend, feeling tender by recent personal events. My friend is an energy worker. That means she not only feels me heading towards TILT, but she sees how I am energetically locked in on TILT. This is not unlike a heat-seeking missile. If my setting is stuck on guilt...then all I'm going to attract is guilt.

This is why I kinda love the energy of mad. Mad means I have the gumption to shift my locked-in energy by actually feeling and releasing mad, then and there, in the moment. Only then can I move on. Lately I've noticed that some people don't allow themselves to feel this energy. Instead, in an effort for peace, they stuff down anger or frustration and pretend peace. I understand the fake-it-til-you-make-it adage, but in the case of strong feelings,  this is only putting a finger in the damn! to stave off an all-consuming  flood.

My friend went on to explain that when we are children, we move through feelings quickly. One moment we are fighting with our siblings. The next moment, we are best buds. As we become socialized, we hang onto certain emotions rather than allowing them to move through us. This wreaks havoc with our bodies as well as our creativity. 

I'm not saying that it is appropriate to inappropriately act-out or dump on others. Our feelings are for US. If we are open to them, we will be naturally guided to the right expression. Right expression may be telling someone how you feel; or right expression may be simply drawing, painting or dancing out the energy.

It is our duty to be present and FEEL our FEELINGS, not judge them, or stuff them. Again, stuffing only leads to harmful behaviors. By honoring our true emotions, we gift ourselves with presence.

What energy is present in you now???

Allowing, but not Chasing Chickens

On my first day pet-sitting at a new ranch (8 cats, 6 hens, 2 ducks and several house plants) I learned how NOT to catch a chicken.

I went down to the pen to say hello to my new charges when I spyed one of the black hens had flown the coop. She was now racing around the perimeter of the coop, periodically stopping and trying to squeeze back in through the large chainlink.

My initial thought of simply shaking the cracked corn treat can and waiting for her to approach didn't work because of my impatience. I kept walking toward the hen rather than standing still and waiting for her to come to me.

My second attempt faired better: Steve, co-owner of this ranch (and experienced chicken catcher) waited in one spot with the treat can while I snuck up behind the chicken. I missed multiple chances to scoop up the bird and toss her into the pen because, well, I'm a chicken.

Finally, I surrendered to my truth and told Steve I'd just keep her pointed in one direction, Steve continued to stand still (at the pen door) shaking the can, and voila, the hen is now happily laying eggs for my breakfast.

Photo courtesy of www.123rf.com

Chasing that chicken felt an awful lot like chasing my dream. The one thing I know from my practice of Visioning(R) and using the non-dominant hand method of journaling is that allowing a dream to happen is much more enjoyable--and a lot less effort than chasing down a dream as if it were an escaped, clucking chicken.

Chasing a dream assumes that we have all the answers.
Allowing a dream is surrendering to your internal life questions:

Who are you?
Where are you coming from?
What do you want to become?

By surrendering and investigating these questions through the internal exploration of poetry, music, art, movement, gardening, biking, yoga, meditation, scrapbooking and writing, we allow ourselves to live the questions. To evolve.

Surrendering to your heart's will is a subtle, yet dynamic process that is often lost in the cacaphony of modern living and all of it's viral and noisy technology.

How will you allow your dream to manifest today?

Post Your Answer. I'm listening.

Room to Dance

I was dancing in the living room this morning when I realized how little space I claim in my universe. I'd been dancing in a small corner of the living room, worried that my neighbors were going to see me. Silliness! I couldn't even move my arms because I didn't want to hit the lamp.

When I moved into further into the middle of the room, I was benefited with a view of Morro Rock.

This leads me to ask the question: What areas in my life do I keep myself confined to a corner???

Expanding ourselves through physical movement throughout the day keeps our perspective fresh and open.
This leads us to access intuition. When we regularly follow our intuitive voice, we are rewarded with passion and joy.

Ann Cuddy describes this in her powerful Ted Talk.

Beware! Practice equals more power.
What part of your life needs expansion?

The Next Wandering Step

Now that I've achieved my dream: living in a safe and sacred home in Ventura, I've been reluctant to create another collage. I don't want to trick myself. Being in the safe and sacred home in Ventura happened when I showed up at a particular house, with a particular warm and loving family. And here I was hoping that my collage meant that I was going to be living and working in Ventura. Well, I did. But what I meant when I created the collage was that I be working and living in Ventura longer than four days.

Instead I am wandering between Ventura, Santa Barbara and San Luis Obispo counties. This afternoon I let myself follow a clearly marked trail through the orange groves in Cayucos, trying to find the fence line. Yesterday morning I was standing on the deck of a home on the back bay in Los Osos with a cup of tea, and last week I was in Carpinteria buying asparagus at Farmer's Market.

In my search for the "right job" and the "right place" it is easy to lose sight of what my heart knows. My heart knows that right now is a pretty good place to be if I like being buzzed by hummingbirds and don't mind the cute-faced dog Sammy-Sam-Sam sticking his black and white snout on my lap, hoping for another Premium Saltine.

 

I didn't know I needed to walk through groves of oranges and lemons, or listen to the birds chirping above traffic. But my heart knew. My heart knew that I needed to rest in the sun on a ranch without cell service and barely an Internet connection. My work today is looking up how to tell the difference between flying bald eagles or hawks when they are circling the valley. I'll also need to look up the meaning of lizards and deer on an animal-medicine card website.My heart has led me to a place where a lovely woman named Grace walks every night down the long road to follow the constellations. My heart has always known me better than my head does and for that I am grateful.

What does your heart know in this moment???

Please be bold, comment!

Dorothy Lane

Have you ever been lost in your own neighborhood?
How did you feel while you were winding your way through the confused streets?
Helpless? Frustrated? Joyful?

Joyful?

Last week when I was lost in my own mind, that translated to becoming lost in a familiar neighborhood.
Frustration was my first feeling. After I chanced upon a familiar block, I became joyful because I remembered a good park and thought I'd take a walk.

(This is my bad habit: ditch my original destination in favor of a new treat when the driving gets tough.)

But there wasn't any parking, back to frustrated.

Fortunately I learned a terrific prayer from writer Anne Lamott--HELP!




Image by www.lahondaworld.com


The essential step after dialing your Higher Power is to hang up the phone so she can call you back.


As I was slowly driving, waiting for the Direction Kahuna's soft inner voice, it dawned on me that it was best to continue towards my original destination--even if I was going to be late. Next I realized that I was lost because I was not minding my own business. I was lost because I had been worrying about another person's problem.


This is called driving in someone else's lane.

Fortunately, I thought this was funny. Fortunately I heard ''turn right,'' over my own laughter, fortunately, I recognized a street that led me back on track..... Dorothy Lane.

Question: How do you know when you are driving in someone else's lane???
Please post your answer in the Comment section!!!

Dorothy Segovia knows all about being lost and found. She teaches you how to use Creative Journaling and Visioning(R) to keep you driving in your own lane:  My Body, My Car: How to Coach Yourself Through Life's little Accidents, workbook and music CD. Now available in PDF. Visit www.writeinside.com.

Retail Wisdom

So.
I'd been sniveling, and dragging my feet as I've sorted through my storage unit multiple times over the past few months.

My initial intention to "sell everything that isn't nailed down" disappeared quickly in the face of the ragdoll I've had since I was 5, my Grandmother's telephone table, and my Pic n Sav Christmas tree from my first apartment. (The lights still work!!!)

Dejected, I packed these items back in the box and returned it to the Keep pile.
Basically, the only things I now have to sell are 10 unmatched dishes, 9 books, 8 pieces of random sewing material, 7 DVDs,  6 kitchen containers, 5 blankets, 4 electronic items, 3 blouses, 2 purses and 1 never used guitar book complete with CD.

This does not a garage sale make...

So.
I woke up and realized this experience needed a new story.
I'd been gnashing my teeth over the fact that I am not currently residing in a permanent space to store my stuff. But what I needed to be doing is transforming the past into my exciting future.


Try these sentences out loud and hear which one feels more energizing.

1. "Wow. I have to sell my stuff because my plan didn't work. Waaah."
2. "Wow. I have a lot of great inventory. It's going to fun learning how to be a retail slut."

Okay.
Maybe you have an aversion to the word retail.
But telling a new story about an experience you're having anyway releases resistance and promotes acceptance. Acceptance of disappointment, acceptance of change, acceptance of joy.

Pic n Sav tree anyone?
It includes decorations and I'm selling it, cheap.