This month, I’m celebrating because, well, it happened! I’m moving to Santa Cruz in 2 days. So if I’m so stoked on moving into my groovy house share on the Capitola/Santa Cruz border, then why feel so even? A truer description is: slightly even, splashed with dots of excitement.
At first feel, I decided that the Critic was afoot and I was going to bop that cute little Shadow Self clean into the next county. Then I realized that I was counting on my Santa Cruz move to save me. While I rationally knew that moving to Santa Cruz meant that one GIANT goal has been reached, the saving part means that I told myself “when I move to Santa Cruz I will be happy.” But thoughts like that mean that I’m not happy now. Saving means the proverbial honeymoon.
Basically, I made the same mistake that many collaging visionaries make. I believed that a vision manifestation was the end, the prize, the brass ring. Not so. All skilled visionaries know that a vision collage is a journey.
Here’s what happened.
I planned a few days to drive up to Santa Cruz and check out some housemate situations and had the scoop on a couple of studio apartments. But, by the time I left for my trip, I was certain that I was going to rent a particular room. I could feel it. The decision felt light. And that’s exactly what happened. We agreed it was a great fit, but that we each needed to sleep on it. The next morning, while I knew to sign the lease, something was bugging me. So I grabbed a pen and scribbled out some concerns.
“I’m sharing a place, I don’t have my own bathroom, I’m 47 I should have my own place, at least my own bathroom, why do I want to share a place? Why do I want to share a bathroom? I’m 47, shouldn’t I……”
After 3 pages of the above judgment mind drivel, something was still bugging me. So I did the next step of the Visioning process: let one of the collage images “speak.” I also call this Talking to The Hand.
Talking to the Hand means that I can write to each collage image to find out what that aspect of me wants to say. The process is known as Creative Journaling and it’s a right brain technique. It gives us the chance for our heart to speak. Basically, I interview the collage image with a series of questions. I decided to interview Niversity because that was the first image that caught my attention.
I use my Dominant Hand to ask the questions (DH) and my non-dominant hand to answer (NDH). Here is part of the result. (You are being spared 2 more pages of DH drivel.)
DH: Dear Niversity: Who are you?
NDH: I am your next step.
DH: How do you feel?
NDH: Confident and happy.
NDH: Because you said yes to the next step.
DH: Which is…
NDH: Moving to Santa Cruz to be in this house.
DH: I feel afraid of sharing and changing and being more open and loving and compassionate. What do you know about this?
NDH: That this, the next step, is a step, you can chose again and again.
DH: Niversity, what are you here to teach me?
NDH: That there is nothing serious going on here. This is simply the next step…….
DH: Tell me a poem
NDH: Break the boundary connections to your past story.
Nothing is the same every moment is different.
Leave everything you know and follow me – the next step.
It is okay to be afraid but don’t let it stand in your way.
(I really love how Niversity uses James Taylor’s “Secret of Life” lyrics in the last line of the poem. The actual J.T. line is “feel afraid.” The “nothing serious going on here” refers to a quote by Esther Hicks in “The Secret behind the Secret” DVD by Esther and Jerry Hicks. )
So, using the conversation as my guidance, I realize that I am one wise woman. I’m wise because I understand that once you get your vision, enter ‘wanting more.’ That’s because we are ever expanding beings. I’ve been dreaming of Capitola since June: but it’s January. That’s 7 vision filled months of having even larger dreams. So I’m STILL on my way to my 2 bedroom house, this is just a fabulous stopover. It’s also evidence that I am living my dream.
Every visionary knows to celebrate the steps along the way because a great vision is never done. Even when I do end up in my house with the wooden floors and 2 private bathrooms, I’ll still want more. Want more means expansion and growth. And that’s good. (Sometimes owning stuff for stuff’s sake leads us to want more space.)
So a vision collage really represents steps that celebrate our life journey. And, guess what? It’s supposed to feel good!
So repeat after me: “A vision is a journey. A vision is a journey.”
Joyously, I remember an earlier desire: to live in a community of vibrant, creative women. New digs in a Santa Cruz/Capitola house share with a graphic designer and a holistic massage practitioner. Yes, I’m living my dream. I’m always living my dream.
I’ve showed you mine, now you show me yours. Use the comments section and please, dream big.
May you and yours always be visionaries,
To find out how you can have a Visioning party in your home visit www.writeinside.com
To purchase the book “Visioning: Ten Steps to Designing the Life of Your Dreams”
by Lucia Capacchione, visit www.visioningcoach.org and www.luciac.com