Wouldn't it be Nice?

Okay, so this is the title of a Beach Boys song. But these guys must have been onto something because....according to Esther and Jerry Hicks, Wouldn't it be Nice? is one way to release resistance to receiving all the blessings that are just waiting to poured down on our precious little heads.

Here's how it works.

The point of the game is to move from discouragement to joy - one vibrational step at a time.
The one step at a time is important. Basically, we claim relief from what ever we are feeling in each moment. This is why ferociously repeating affirmations doesn't work. Trying to ramp up our energy to joy when we are worried is like driving from San Luis Obispo to Santa Cruz and being angry when we haven't arrived at the Big Ferris Wheel on the boardwalk a mere 10 minutes after we started our trip.

Often times, when we think we are being positive we are actually holding ourselves in the vibration of what hasn't happened yet; thereby attracting more of what hasn't happened yet.

"I really want more money because I'm sick of being broke all the time."

"I want to lose weight because I want to feel good about myself."

"I want to meet someone so I'm not lonely anymore."

All of the above phrases focus on what we don't have. But rephrasing the statement into 'wouldn't it be nice?' sentences creates a more positive feeling.

"Wouldn't it be nice to feel good about money?"

"Wouldn't it be nice if my metabolism cooperated with me and I felt great?"

"Wouldn't it be nice to meet a partner to share my life with?"

If you say all of the above statements out loud you will feel the vibrational difference. Once you start playing the game, the cells in your body will start moving toward attracting and manifesting your new vibration. But it does take some time - so be patient!

And most of all, enjoy the process....

Wouldn't it be nice for all of us to know that we are guided, blessed and loved?

Dorothy

PS: To learn more about vibrational alignment, check out Esther and Jerry Hicks book
Ask and It Is Given. www.abraham-hicks.com

Sculpting Joy

So I just moved into my new permanent digs here in San Luis Obispo county. This is a big surprise considering that I have been all about Santa Cruz county for the past year. But here’s the thing. When you’ve reached the end of your vision and you don’t have a plan – how do you know where to go?

Allow your joy.

When the lease was up on my Capitola place, I knew that it was time to move on. I made plans to help my mother after her recent knee surgery and had a couple weeks of pet-sitting after that. Knowing that I was covered for about a month – I let go of a life that no longer worked to allow a life that does.

This is where it gets a little tricky. Being human and all, we love knowing the NEXT step before we move on from the LAST step. But the chaotic void is where all the fun begins.

And yes, I’ve been scared.

The first thing I did on my journey was to keep the feeling of what I wanted in my heart, body and mind as much as possible. Whenever I got scared or overwhelmed, I would say an affirmation such as: “Heaven knows what I need and it’s on the way.” Or “I am blessed, I say yes to life.” I kept up on my positive reading: and most of all, took lots of breathing breaks.

The result was that I followed the good feelings through 7 pet-sitting gigs with overnights at a friend’s fabulous guest house. I learned that while I can never eradicate FEAR – I can dance with her pretty well.

Allowing joy is like taking a big lump of clay and seeing the joy already present. Slowly we mold the clay and remove the pieces that don’t fit. Sometimes, the pieces fall away without our help. Taking the steps to listen to, and allow our feelings moves us into the present moment. We mold our joy with each breath.

I’m typing in my freezing but cute little cabin-ita in Los Osos and I’ve been here officially for 6 days. I’ve had glimpses of joy in between unpacking – but it was fleeting among all of the boxes.

But, finally today, the 7th day, I am amazed and grateful and startled and slightly confused that I landed HERE – and I’m smiling.

May you follow the joy that lives in your heart,

Dorothy

PS: I am teaching workshops at the Be Well Center in Atascadero! Join me for my first class Monday, October 12, 7pm-8:30pm: How to Bring Joy to Your Life. (And please, tell a friend.) More workshops are listed on my calendar as well. Click the title above to go directly to my website.

Visioning(R) without Collaging...

When I don't want to make a collage about a goal because I'm too busy or am already focusing on a collage - the next best thing is to take time to journal my vision.

I have a special book that I reserve for dream journaling. Many times when I review my dreams - I find that they have manifested in fun and surprising ways.

Follow these steps to get your emotions to vibrate at the speed of your dream and be sure to celebrate the steps along the way!

Materials: Favorite journal book and pen, timer, blank 81/2 by 11 paper. Be sure you have at least 30 uninterrupted minutes in a soothing space - outside is perfect if it is available. Make a cup of tea, or light a candle to create the atmosphere of a mini-retreat.

1. Use the blank paper to do a fast 10 minutes of journal junk. This is where you put your pen to the paper and write as fast as you can. This allows the rational mind to release any worries or complaints. Be sure to set the timer. If you run out of things to write, simply start the sentence with I'm worried about...

2. Close your eyes and let your mind focus on the vision. You are playing pretend - your vision is as big as your imagination.

3. Next, take your journal and put the date that you want your vision to manifest by - at the top of the page. Set the timer for 20 minutes and write about your vision in 1st person.

"I now have a fun, rewarding job working with people I love and respect. The office is spacious and ...."

4. If you stop writing, close your eyes and imagine yourself as if the situation is happening...then start writing until the timer stops.

Use the questions below to help fill in the details. Remember, to vision is to create an emotional feeling of joy that you associate with your dream. That way, when you run into obstacles, you feel past the problem by assuming there is a solution.

When your vision manifests, who is the 1st person you'd call?

How would you celebrate?

What needs to happen for the demonstration of the vision? (That is, what outfit would you wear to your new job...?)

If this exercise creates uncomfortable feelings - then good! That means the mind closet is being opened and cleared. Now you can see what no longer works in your life so you can make room for what does work.

5. After your vision is written, read the vision outloud several times until you mean it. (I sometimes record the vision on my digital recorder and listen to it in my car when I'm stuck in traffic.)

6. Bless and release your vision into the atmosphere. Give yourself a hug for spending time on your dreams.

7. Let me know when your dream manifests....

Dorothy

What to do with Your Vision Board

In the poll posted in the sidebar of this blog – one person said that their vision collage manifested wonderfully, but others said they weren’t sure what to do with their collage after it was created. Once the vision board is complete, use the following guidelines based on the book by Lucia Capacchione, Visioning: Ten Steps to Designing the Life of Your Dreams.

Have a journal with you to record any insights you may have.

*Be sure you share your collage or insights ONLY with those who you feel safe with and who support your dream.

1. Give your collage a place of honor in your home to display your vision.

2. Spend time viewing your collage – at least 15 minutes – several times a week.
This allows the energy of the images permeate your heart so you will ‘recognize’ circumstances as they flow toward you.

3. As you look at your creation, notice the colors and shapes of the collage pieces as well. Do you notice any recurring themes or colors?

If your vision isn’t manifesting ask yourself:

Do I spend time with my collage daily?
Weekly?
Do I follow my vision with inspired action?
That is - if you know you need to clear out the garage for the new office you are manifesting – have you done it?
If not, then why not?
Does it FEEL GOOD to look at your collage?

One reason why Visioning® doesn’t work is because often times we collage what think we SHOULD have. In other words, your collage may be what your mind says you want – but your heart needs to lead the way. The rational mind will come later, when it is time to put the plan into action.

Another reason why a collage doesn’t manifest is because of the voice inside your head that rationalizes away your desire. You’re too busy, too broke or too tired to go for another dream. Beware! This voice has IT’S OWN AGENDA and your dream is not on the list. (Read Visioning® Step Five: The Inner Critic.)

Your vision is given to you by the grace of the One that created you. It’s your gift, your blessing. Let your vision lead you. Let go of what no longer serves you to make room for your desire. Be brave enough to ask: am I following my vision today?

May the journey to your dreams be filled with yes,

Dorothy

The Metaphor of Social Networks

The reason why Visioning® works (or not) has to do with our ability to trust intuition and metaphor. These are right brain processes. Once the collage is created, the next step is to consistently be with our vision each day. We need to journal our insights. We need to celebrate the steps to our dream.

Metaphor empowers us to participate in our lives. Being an aware and active participant is the difference between creative joy and being overwhelmed with tasks and to do lists.

Metaphor is the way to manage and put a container on our ‘doing’ energy. This brings balance and focus to everday tasks.

One area that is easy to feel overloaded is social networking and email correspondence. My friend and writing mentor, the novelist Anne Allen (her Blog is listed in the sidebar) and I were talking about our process for keeping up with our own writing projects, much less regular email, Tweets and Facebook. The metaphor that I bring to these virtual conversations is to act as if each social network is a real-time social setting.

Twitter
Tweeting is like voice mail from my friends. I don’t call or hear from my friends on a daily basis, but I do listen to messages at least once a day. So with Twitter, I’m either picking up my voice mail messages or leaving a voicemail message. This way, I can keep up with my friends and they can keep up with me in 140 characters or less.

If someone on my Twitter message board is leaving too many posts and clogging up my Inbox – I simply screen the calls. I do this by adding their website to my computer Bookmarks (in a Twitter folder) and stop following their posts. I don’t cut off the friendship. I’m just screening their calls until I have time to ‘call them back’ by going to their website.

Facebook
This is like having dinner with friends and family all at the same time. I tune into a conversation by clicking commenting or clicking on the posts. I can also delete specific news feeds from my Inbox without cutting off the friendship. Again, I can catch up by simply clicking on my friend’s photo and reading their posts. I love Facebook because it’s easy to stay in touch with, find old friends and have them find me. Plus – I have TONS of relatives. As my sister-in-law Kim pointed out, the Segovia clan et al will soon take over the world – if not Facebook.

Blogs & Email
Reading blogs and blogging is like visiting one on one. I can visit at my convenience. Usually I read several blog posts from each person in one sitting. This way, I can get into the topic and truly listen to my friend.

Email is for business, setting appointments and staying in touch with long distance friends. I am extremely organized with my email and generally do not have more than 10-15 items in my main email Inbox. I sort and respond to each email as quickly as possible. (Like many people, I have more than one email for specific purposes.)

If I didn’t have use metaphor of real time social settings for virtual conversations, then the technology would be using me rather than the other way around.

Remembering these metaphors creates an embodied computer experience. After all, these networks are for socializing and staying in touch – not for becoming overwhelmed. We are missing the point if we are in our heads and going numb at the computer. Going numb at the computer is like staying at the party toooo long. At some point, you’ve got to go home.

May all of your conversations be blessed,

Dorothy

Your comments on how you keep up with your virtual correspondence would be greatly appreciated!

Chihuha

Chihuha: (Chee-hoo-ha). Internal monkey minded critic energy that creates drama 24/7.

Chi: Vital energy that is held to animate the body internally; of central importance in some Eastern systems of medical treatment and of exercise or self-defense.

Huha: Reactionary fight or flight response to unreleased past trauma stored in the body; incessant future planning; controlling the ‘now’ with relentless yapping.

Use: I was hoping to enjoy the drive, but my Chihuha jumped into the passenger seat and yapped in my ear the entire way.

Chihuha

I thought I’d be home Wednesday, but gratefully, there was more editing work waiting in Cambria than I planned. Turns out, I drove home through Big Sur on Saturday. I jumped into the Honda with the idea stopping off at Ragged Point, but passed that in favor of my memory of Big Sur twenty years ago. Too bad for me, that the memory included a clear stretch of Highway 1 on a weekday morning. (It also includes being high in the passenger seat while someone else drove.)

I learned that the Coast Gallery no longer serves food. The Coast Gallery also doesn’t let the public use their facilities, never mind that I was the only public and wouldn’t have minded the climb up the stairs. But, strangely, I was too hungry to insist and the shitty sales guy behind the counter didn’t offer. He suggested Deetjan’s Big Sur Restaurant which unfortunately was closed: though the facilities were open.

Stomach growling, I drove past Nepenthe because of the crowds and headed for the memory of the Big Sur River Inn, which was also teeming with tourists. After the next few curves, I pulled over to the side of the mountain. Rather than taking a moment to gaze at the shimmering sea, I tore open the raisins that I had struggled with for most of the drive and plopped the box on my lap. Appetizers. I pulled back onto the highway and sped until the right turn onto Carmel’s Rio Road. There, I gunned it past the Chevron and parked badly into the first space I found.

The eventual beet salad was heavenly.

The hilarity of missing a fabulously leisurely drive was that instead of stopping to eat, I kept looking for a better restaurant. Originally, I wanted to receive the blessing of Highway 1 on a gorgeous day. Turns out, I drove quite a way listening to my Chihuha yap about a better restaurant; instead of listening to my body.

I had forgotten that to Chihuhas, it’s always better over there.

This road trip was several weeks after I created my Inner Family collage (Click to read the 1st in the Inner Family 3-part series from the archives.) When I came home, I was not surprised to see that the Critic and my symbolic reactions dominated a large area of collage. So, I did what any other Visionary would do: I reached up and yanked down the pictures I didn’t want. (Yes you can take images away from and add to your collage!)

Now, my Chihuha calmly sits on the lap of dog whisperer Cesar Milan. Cesar is the symbol of my Inner Protective Parent. If anyone can calm a Chihuha down, it’s Cesar.

May you enjoy long leisurely drives while your Chihuha snores in a far away kennel,

Dorothy

Please click COMMENT at the bottom of this blog and tell me what best describes your Inner Chihuha.

ALSO – Please take time to answer the Poll I reposted on Vision collages – (I had neglected to add a “no” response earlier) – so please vote!

Out your Inner Coach Potato

The reason I love cable TV is because for half of my adult life I didn’t own a television. When I did, I barely had a VCR and trolled for movies at the local library. While this left me geekily behind the popular TV show times, it allowed me to murmur that popular disclaimer: “Yes, I own television, but only use it to watch movies.”

What’s that biblical saying? Be WITH television, but not OF television?

Now that my rent includes cable, I’m outing myself from the television closet. This column is devoted to my Top Ten Reasons why I love cable, television without cable – and other forms of TV technology.

10. Basketball season and the pre-requisite snacks. During the 80’s I got hooked on hating the Lakers. My neighbor Bill was a Lakers fan and since the other team needed a Montrose Avenue representative on their side, I naturally voted for the Portland Trailblazers. I even gave Bill a purple and yellow “Nerf” gecko that we named “Laker Lizard.” Our pre-game ritual was to flip the lizard to see how it landed, thereby predicting the winning team. I don’t live in Montrose, California, anymore, but I still love to hate the Lakers. My one salvation during a recent Laker win was the chow I picked up for myself and my pal Brian at El Rancho Marketplace in the Santa Ynez Valley. Whenever I get the chance, I head over Highway 154 and turn onto Highway 246 to stop in for a bite. The market was started in 1966 by Helmut Holzheu and is still a family owned business. The deli features all kinds of great grub and being in friendly store just feels decadent. Half a giant burrito with Brian’s homemade chips and “guac” made the Laker win a lot easier to swallow.

9. Damages. Catching up to the latest season of this FX series made me a www.hulu.com expert. Hulu features trailers and many episodes of popular television and cable shows. The episodes that weren’t on Hulu, I was able to download from Amazon. (I needed to keep up with the fabulously evil Glenn Close.)

8. The Chinese Backstreet Boys. When I heard about this gem, I had to get on You Tube. The short lip-synch to “That Way” is worth it - especially for the blooper scenes at the end. I have no idea why I love this video so much. Maybe ‘cause they’re wearing jerseys that say Houston.

7. What Not to Wear. I rang in 2009 with two cats, a parrot named Jeffrey and a What Not to Wear marathon. Though I don’t always agree with the outfits that Stacey and Clinton put together, I do dress better. AND I no longer live in terror that one of my friends has called the duo for a “Dorothy’s outfit” intervention.

6. Project Runaway. Though Heidi Klum’s repetitive, “you’re out,” does get tedious, I adore the creative designs. And watching the winner reach their dream is such a Hallmark moment. (I always sniffle along when design guru Tim Gunn bids the contestants adieu.) I got so excited about one season that I actually started writing a piece that teaches Inner Family dynamics based the contestant’s interactions. Stay tuned.

5. www.Netflix.com Instant viewing. Unlimited movies streamed to my laptop included in the price? Bring on the 2nd season of “Duchess of Duke Street.” The site remembers where you stopped the movie and reloads in the exact place – just in case your laptop spontaneously Shuts Down in the middle of your flick.

4. The Closer and Cold Case. For some reason, I only watch these shows while doing the late night thang during visits to Mom’s. I’m an expert at closing my eyes when the music signals that the grisly crime scene is happening. Kyra Sedgwick and her cop crew’s antics are hilarious, while Kathryn Morris as the lead the Cold Case detective is to die for.

3. Californiacation. The only thing I knew about David Duchovny was that he proposed to his former wife Tea Leoni while she was arranging her shoe closet. This Showtime hoot is about a one-hit writer who is punching his way through his 2nd novel. You gotta watch it to believe it.

2. www.Ted.com. Even if there is something on TV, this website is a fabulous option. Packed with 20-minute lectures and performances, this site was started in 1984: the letters stand for technology, entertainment and design. The lectures on the creative genius by “Eat, Pray, Love” author Elizabeth Gilbert as well as brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor’s talk almost put Ted at the top of my list.

1. Brothers and Sisters. As if listening to David’s snarky remarks isn’t delicious enough, watching the Walker family makes my drama feel as if I’m beating Kobe in a little game of one-on-one. Be sure to catch up on past seasons through Netflix or ABC’s website.

Come on now, be brave. Out your couch potato self and spill your favorite embarrassing show. Just click on the Comment Icon at the bottom this column. (I won’t tell a soul….)

May all your down time be as luscious as watching Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker,

Dorothy